My Big Fat Parlay Bet – NFL Week 12

I spent fifteen minutes trying to decide if it was ethical to add a bet in here on how many different players the Ravens would put on the Covid/Reserve list.

It is now officially the holiday season and thanks to the economic situation that Covid-19 and bad decisions have created, almost everyone could use a little extra cash this December. Also, most people I know are still hunting for their PS5’s and Xbox Series X’s, so we need extra money for that; so, let’s make our money through the magic of sports betting!

Some of the tickets are a little rougher to make this week thanks in large part to the delayed games and constant movement thanks to the large rise in players testing positive for Coronavirus, but also that we had two Thursday games. Also, we are proceeding with the assumption that this week of football even happens, despite the rising fear and suspicion that it might not.

All odds supplied by Fanduel Sportsbook. Bet at your own risk.

The Obvious Tickets

The spread card is made up of eight legs, turning 10 dollars into 1,598.21 dollars. The legs are: Cardinals to cover -2, Vikings to cover -3, Browns to cover -7, Raiders to cover -3, Dolphins to cover -6.5, Bears with the spread +8.5, Seahawks to cover -5.5, and Steelers to cover -7. Make extra money on this ticket by expanding the spread for the Vikings, Steelers, Raiders, and Dolphins.

The O/U ticket is eight legs, turning 10 dollars into 1797.19 dollars. The legs are: Carolina/Minnesota over 50, Cleveland/Jacksonville under 48.5, Las Vegas/Atlanta under 53.5, Miami/New York (J) over 44.5, Tennessee/Indianapolis under 51.5, Kansas City/Tampa Bay over 56.5, Chicago/Green Bay under 44, Seattle/Philadelphia under 49.

Mixed ticket, eight legs, 10 to 1562.55 dollars. The legs are Cardinals to cover, Carolina/Minnesota over, Browns to cover, Raiders to cover, Dolphins to cover, Kansas City/Tampa Bay over, Seahawks to cover, Steelers to cover.

Single Game Tickets

As is almost a weekly tradition at this point, we have to start with the Chiefs game. The Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers are locked and loaded to have an offensive explosion, and I, for one, am here for it.

This ticket has a few fewer legs than our average ticket, but it is the most researched. It has only six legs but turns 10 dollars into 1439.30 dollars. The legs are: Travis Kelce scores a touchdown (Kelce is having a historically good season), Rob Gronkowski scores a touchdown (Chiefs’ linebackers and safeties can not stop tight ends), Ronald Jones to score a touchdown (Chiefs are one of the worst run defenses), Brady to throw for under 300.5 yards (Brady will not be throwing for more than 300 the rest of his career), both teams to combine for more than 56.5 points, and the Chiefs to cover 3.5 points.

The other great matchup is the Vikings and Panthers, with full potential for another Big-12-Esque “no defense” game. The Vikings were hot and then had an atrocious showing against the Cowboys last week.

This is an eight leg ticket that is built on touchdowns and overs, turning 10 dollars in 1551.83 dollars. It has: Dalvin Cook scoring a touchdown (Duh), Curtis Samuel scoring a touchdown (find a Vikings linebacker that will stop him), Minnesota to cover (assuming they play better then they did in Dallas), both teams to combine for over 50 points (always better the over in college football), Dalvin Cook to get over 24.5 yards receiving (his rushing o/u is 110.5 yards and it feels wrong to pick anything on a line like that), Mike Davis to get over 53.5 yards rushing (the Panthers offense is still run centric despite CMC riding the bench), Mike Davis over 26.5 yards receiving (screens), and Teddy Bridgewater over 258.5 yards passing (Vikings defense is a joke).

Ultimate Ticket

No fan fare, not posturing, we need to finally make a winning ticket.

Seven legs, 10 dollars into 1541.86 dollars. It has: Carolina/Minnesota going over (Repeat the joke a second time), Nick Chubb scoring a touchdown (Duh), Devante Parker scoring a touchdown (FITZMAGIC is slinging the ball for the Dolphins while Tua is healing up, and Parker is his favorite target), Travis Kelce scoring a touchdown (Gronk can be subbed here, but both are getting a touchdown in this one), Steelers to cover (RG3 is the Ravens’ starting QB), Darren Waller to score a touchdown (Waller is a beast that is unblockable in the redzone), and the returning Austin Ekeler scoring a touchdown (Buffalo’s run defense is bad and Ekeler is well-rested). If you want to add a little extra money, Cam Newton is definitely running in a touchdown and whenever the Broncos/Saints’ game is available for betting again, you can pound the Saints to cover or even, if you are feeling adventurous, take the Saints defense to score.