My Big Fat Parlay Bet – Week 8

Early next month sees the release of the XBOX Series X and PS5, both of which I want; however, both consoles cost 500 dollars, which means to get both I have to have over 1000 dollars after taxes. For both consoles, I will also need controllers and maybe a game or two, so with controllers coming in at 60 dollars, the Xbox games coming in at 60 dollars apiece, and PS5 games coming in at 70 dollars apiece, realistically, I need 1500 dollars to be safe.

That is a ton of money, and in the midst of the pandemic, nobody has that kind of money… and then I had the stupidest idea I have had in a few hours: what if I build some parlay bets through Fanduel’s Sportsbook so large that if I bet 10 dollars on them I would win over 1500 dollars? With Fanduel’s same game parlay system and extremely helpful parlay bet slip builder, this was maybe the most power I have ever had and the closest I have ever been to the future of gaming. So, I wanted to share those parlay bets that I built so maybe you too can get the next generation of consoles, also buy Madden, and maybe play with me because I am lonely and could use some human interaction because pandemic depression, seasonal oppression, and a lack of human interaction are turning me into a crazy person.

Author’s Note: These bets may be low risk, high reward, but still be careful and bet at your own risk.

The Chiefs’ Parlay

For this first ticket, I wanted to build the same game parlay through Fanduel that would get me to my total. I would only have to watch one game this week and since it is a noon game, I would know by 3:30 whether or not I need to call the bank about a big deposit. Plus, I have a ton of Chiefs’ knowledge due to my relationship with Arrowhead Addict and Arrowhead Live, so I know things that are likely going to happen in this game.

Now I know I said I was aiming for 1500 dollars, but I also have no self-control… so, I built a 7 part parlay where 10 dollars becomes 5243.66 dollars.

Of course, I wanted to start with some obvious props to build the ticket: Le’veon Bell is going to score at least on a touchdown on his old team (Le’veon Bell-Anytime touchdown scorer), and he is rushing for more than 41.5 yards (Le’veon Bell-Rushing Yards-Over), and for that reason, the Chiefs are winning by more than 19.5 points (Spread-Chiefs Cover). These props are so easy to bet on, that they just helped pad out my parlay for more money.

Then I moved onto a few good feeling props: The Chiefs’ defense is great and Sam Darnold is not going to get more than 203.5 yards through the air (Sam Darnold-Passing Yards-Under), and for that reason, the Jets are not going to score many points and keep the total score in the under (O/U-Under), and although they lose by 20 or more, they are not losing by 35.5 points (Alternate Spread-New York Jets (+35.5)). The Sam Darnold one may seem a little iffy, but the Chiefs defense has smothered so many offenses that I highly doubt the quarterback who has not thrown for more than a net 203 yards yet this season is suddenly going to do it against the Super Bowl champs. Also, a rough game on Darnold early will definitely prompt Gase to play Flacco, also further submitting that prop.

There is only one prop that I have any questions about, and that was Darrel Williams scoring a touchdown. Some may immediately dismiss this ticket for that prop alone, but in a game that is likely to be a blowout, Darrel Williams seeing significant playing time and scoring a touchdown on the exhausted Jets’ defense seems very likely. Also, remember, this is the only question mark in a 7 part parlay that turns a ten-dollar bill into over 5000 dollars, so I would say one question mark is not even that bad.

(Also, Deandre Washington can be switched out for Darrel Williams for the same odds if you really do not like the odds on Darrel Williams)

(Spread)ing out the parlay

I spent all of three seconds thinking on this one, which led to my going to the Fanduel NFL betting overview page and taking the teams that are likely to win, rearranged the bets until I got more than 1500 dollars. I was even able to omit some controversial picks and stayed pretty safe in my picks. I picked with the spread (because money line betting is boring) and made picks on eight games, which turns 10 dollars into 1667.01 dollars.

I picked: Indianapolis Colts cover (-3 over Detroit Lions), Los Angeles Rams to cover (-3 over Miami Dolphins), Green Bay Packers to cover (-6 over Minnesota Vikings), Kansas City Chiefs to cover (-19.5 over New York Jets), Tennessee Titans to cover (-7 over the Cincinnati Bengals), Los Angeles Chargers to cover (-3 over the Denver Broncos), San Francisco 49ers with the spread (+2.5 against the Seattle Seahawks), Chicago Bears with the spread (+5.5 against the New Orleans Saints). The only question mark I would have is Chicago pick, and that can be exchanged with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers covering -12.5 points against the New York Giants for the same odds.

If you want to get a little crazy, you can bet on the spread of every game and win 22462.70 dollars which is enough money for a cheap new car or high-end used car. Of course, that’s only 10 dollars, and if you went a little crazy and added an extra 0 on there, you will win over 200,000 dollars and have enough money for a house.

The stupid one

Remember when this article started with self-control and 1500 dollars out of 10 dollars? Yeah, so I made a 13 leg parlay worth over a million dollars on ten bucks. I took one player prop from every single game this weekend and built a parlay that, if it hits, I could use to buy a house and car with cash, pay off my parents’ house, buy a PS5 and XBOX Series X for myself, and my family and closest friends, and still have tons leftover. All of that… or lose ten dollars. I am willing to take those odds.

Each leg I took was: Adrian Peterson to score a touchdown, Josh Jacobs to score a touchdown, Tua Tagovailoa to score a touchdown, Jamal Williams to score a touchdown/Green Bay win, Cam Newton to throw for over 181.5 yards, Le’veon Bell to score a touchdown, Juju Smith-Schuster to score a touchdown, Derrick Henry running for over 105.5 yards, Melvin Gordon to score a touchdown, Tyler Lockett to score a touchdown, Alvin Kamara to run for over 61.5 yards, Ezekiel Elliot to score a touchdown, Rob Gronkowski to score a touchdown.

10 dollars, 13 legs… 1,426,401.09 dollars. I would have to work 69 years at my old, boring, office job to make more than that. That is the type of insanity that is only possible in sports betting. You can not even look at that list of player props and see some extremely unlikely odds, meaning this is not a terrible parlay. It almost feels like free money, so why not bankrupt Fanduel together?